James Bond - A Reckoning

I want to wrap up my thoughts on the series before moving on to my next project, so I want to do a few rankings lists and then do some superlatives encompassing the sublime and the ridiculous of the series, the racist, the sexist and the ever so occasionally enlightened.

Film Rankings

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

Goldfinger

Skyfall

Casino Royale

The Spy Who Loved Me

GoldenEye

From Russia With Love

You Only Live Twice

For Your Eyes Only

Dr. No

The World Is Not Enough

The Living Daylights

A View to a Kill

Live and Let Die

Thunderball

Licence to Kill

Tomorrow Never Dies

Diamonds are Forever

Die Another Day

The Man With The Golden Gun

Quantum of Solace

Octopussy

Moonraker

Song Rankings

Diamonds Are Forever

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

Goldfinger

A View to a Kill

Nobody Does It Better (The Spy Who Loved Me)

GoldenEye

Live and Let Die

Skyfall

The World Is Not Enough

The Living Daylights

Thunderball

For Your Eyes Only

From Russia With Love

You Only Live Twice

You Know My Name (Casino Royale)

Tomorrow Never Dies

Moonraker

Licence to Kill

Another Way to Die (Quantum of Solace)

Die Another Day

The Man With The Golden Gun

All Time High (Octopussy)

Villains

Blofeld, You Only Live Twice, On Her Majesty's Secret Service and Diamonds Are Forever
Auric Goldfinger, Goldfinger
Le Chiffre, Casino Royale
Franz Sanchez, Licence to Kill
Rosa Klebb, From Russia With Love
Raoul Silva, Skyfall
Doctor Kananga, Live And Let Die
Elektra King, The World Is Not Enough
Aristotle Kristatos, For Your Eyes Only
Brad Whitaker, The Living Daylights
Alec Trevelyan, GoldenEye
Dominic Greene, Quantum of Solace
Scaramanga, The Man With The Golden Gun
Dr. No, Dr. No
Hugo Drax, Moonraker
Max Zorin, A View To A Kill
Emilio Largo, Thunderball
Karl Stromberg, The Spy Who Loved Me
Elliot Carver, Tomorrow Never Dies

Kamal Khan, Octopussy
Gustav Graves, Die Another Day

Bond Girls

Wai Lin, Tomorrow Never Dies
Melina Havelock, For Your Eyes Only
Teresa di Vincenzo, On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Pussy Galore, Goldfinger
Vesper Lynd, Casino Royale
Aki, You Only Live Twice
Tatiana Romanova, From Russia With Love
Eve, Skyfall (yes, I know what I said in the review, but Eve fits better in this list)
Pam Bouvier, Licence To Kill
Camille Montes, Quantum of Solace
Holly Goodhead, Moonraker
Solitaire, Live And Let Die
Kara Milovy, The Living Daylights
Anya Amasova, The Spy Who Loved Me
Jinx Johnson, Die Another Day
Octopussy, Octopussy
Domino Derval, Thunderball
Natalya Simonova, GoldenEye
Honey Ryder, Dr. No
Stacy Sutton, A View To A Kill
Tiffany Case, Diamonds Are Forever



Christmas Jones, The World Is Not Enough









Mary Goodnight, The Man With The Golden Gun


Film that was the most pleasant surprise - For Your Eyes Only
Film that was the most bitter disappointment, awful Bond girl division - The Man With The Golden Gun
Film that was the most bitter disappointment, general division - Diamonds Are Forever
Most forgettable film - The Living Daylights
Favorite Blofeld - Donald Pleasance, You Only Live Twice
Worst Blofeld stand-in - Karl Stromberg, The Spy Who Loved Me
Best opening stunt - Bond skis off a cliff with a Union Jack parachute, The Spy Who Loved Me
Most embarrassing opening scene - Bond drops Blofeld down a chimney, For Your Eyes Only
Most destructive stunt - Bond destroys most of St. Petersburg with a tank, GoldenEye
Best song marred by a terrible singer - "You Only Live Twice", Nancy Sinatra
Worst song elevated by a great singer - "GoldenEye", Tina Turner
Worst attempt to make a white person look Asian - Bond in yellowface, You Only Live Twice
Worst attempt to turn an Asian character into a white person - Colonel Moon/Gustav Graves, Die Another Day
Coolest casino scene, baccarat division - Bond's very first appearance, at Le Cercle at Les Ambassadeurs, Dr. No
Coolest casino scene, non-baccarat division - Bond and Eve in Macau, Skyfall
Saddest casino scene - Bond playing blackjack by himself, Licence To Kill

Best first half - Casino Royale

Best second half - On Her Majesty's Secret Service

Most deflating first half - Dr. No
Most deflating second half - Moonraker
Favorite Bond girl in an otherwise awful film - Wai Lin, Tomorrow Never Dies
Worst Bond girl in an otherwise stellar film - Natalya Simonova, GoldenEye
Best use of underwater filming - The submarine car, The Spy Who Loved Me
Worst use of underwater filming - Basically the entirety of Thunderball
Best stunt filming - The opening scene, Skyfall
Worst stunt filming, non-CGI division - All of Quantum of Solace
Worst stunt filming, CGI division - The kiteboard escape, Die Another Day
Best use of an alpine setting - Blofeld's mountain hideaway, On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Worst use of an alpine setting - Bond snowboards to a brutal cover of "California Girls", A View To A Kill 
Most racist against Asians - Goldfinger
Most racist against black people - Live And Let Die
Most racist against white people - Quantum of Solace
Favorite Q moment - Q threatens Bond with murder if he doesn't bring the car back in one piece, Tomorrow Never Dies
Most upsetting Q moment - Q has to deliver the re-entry quip, Moonraker
Bond dresses like a clown memorial mention - Octopussy
Coolest use of a circus - Just kidding, no such thing.
Dirtiest Bond girl name - Plenty O'Toole, Diamonds Are Forever
Most inexplicable Bond girl name - Tie, Christmas Jones, The World Is Not Enough and Strawberry Fields, Quantum Of Solace
Most surprisingly competent Bond girl despite a ludicrous name - Pussy Galore, Goldfinger
Coolest climax - Bond and M protect this house!, Skyfall
Worst climax - Space lasers, Moonraker
Weirdest climax - Bond chases Scaramanga through his funhouse, The Man With The Golden Gun
Plot twist that actually upends the meaning of the film - Elektra King is actually the Big Bad, The World Is Not Enough
Plot twist that adds absolutely nothing to our understanding of the film - Colonel Moon becomes a white person, Die Another Day
Coolest boss base - The volcano, of course, You Only Live Twice
Crappiest boss base - Max Zorin's blimp, A View To A Kill
Best henchman - Jaws, The Spy Who Loved Me
Worst henchman - Jaws, Moonraker